TED TALK WITH UNCLE TED · 29 July 2021
Uncle Ted: My secret lover is pregnant and I don’t know what to do!
A student has got two women pregnant and wants Uncle Ted to solve the mess.
Dear Uncle Ted,
I am Evans, a student in one of the campuses. I have been in a relationship for about four years with a certain lady. I impregnated her, meaning she has my baby. I love her so much but her love for me faded.
I entered another relationship secretly. Unfortunately I impregnated that one too. The other lady does not know and this new one is about to deliver and she loves me so much. What should I do?
Uncle Ted replies
Dear Evans,
I think you might want to zip up for a bit and spend a little more time studying and reading. Your grammar is bad news and, at this rate, you will graduate without being able to write a job application letter or speak coherently in English.
Second, you can’t run all over sexing people’s daughters irresponsibly—a condom costs just Sh10—and then turn around and ask me for advice on what to do. Remember how manly and clever you felt when you were jumping secretly from one girl to the next like a jogoo? Now that you are a jobless father of two, use the same manliness and cleverness to feed your tots, treat them and buy them diapers.