TED TALK WITH UNCLE TED · 7 September 2026
He has never texted or called since we “met”
Purity has carried a six-month relationship almost entirely by herself and wonders whether the silent man is serious.
Dear Uncle Ted,
Hi Uncle Ted,
I have been in a relationship with this guy for six months. I think I am in love with him. But what worries me is that he never calls or texts. When I ask him about it, he just smiles and says he is a man of few words. Is he serious?
Uncle Ted replies
Dear Purity,
I could be wrong, but I suspect you met and exchanged numbers. You waited for him to call for days, and when he didn’t, you texted him at midnight asking, “Mambo?” He replied. A flurry of texts were exchanged and in no time—maybe two days—he knew you the way Adam “knew” Eve. Then he stopped texting or calling.
How he is still wolfing down the forbidden fruit without making any effort is proof that witchcraft exists because it appears you call, text and then drag yourself to his bed all the time. Strange relationship indeed, but each to his own.
The one good thing about this is that the day you text saying you have missed your periods, he won’t call or text back. Many women have been hurt irredeemably because boyfie responded, “Are you sure the baby is mine?” You know!