TED TALK WITH UNCLE TED · 7 September 2026

I got saved and threw away my sexy underwear

Fiona’s husband appreciates her new faith but misses the lingerie she discarded after getting saved.

Dear Uncle Ted,

Hi Uncle Ted,

I was the typical sexy wife until six months ago when I got saved.

While my husband is happy that I have stopped drinking and smoking, the fact that I have discarded malaya thongs for what my hubby disdainfully calls “Mothers’ Union” underwear has not gone down too well.

Is this the sort of thing I could discuss with my pastor?

Fiona

Uncle Ted replies

Thanks, Fiona.

Your lungs and liver must be glowing. Somebody say Amen! I, however, think you are getting your knickers in a twist for nothing.

What the hell do you imagine the biblical Eve was wearing when she sweet-talked Adam into eating the forbidden guacamole? A leafy string, no more.

Look, my dear. Your husband is asking for fish. You honestly shouldn’t give him a snake. Of course you may discuss this issue with your pastor, but only if “he” is a skirt wearer called Rev Cathy Kiuna, Bishop Dr Margaret Wanjiru or something.

In the event that your prayer warrior happens to be a “man of God”, kindly desist from discussions of any kind on matters below the belt because before the cock crows thrice—pun intended—you will discover that your Mothers’ Union is neither here nor there!